operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier