Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
