I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
