Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
