That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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