What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How does one acquire holy water?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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