she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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