Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
