So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
