There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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