so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
