wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize