hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
