Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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