We're facebook friends in real life
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
