You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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