her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
