wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The ass gains better be worth it
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