and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
