Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
