So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
