If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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