THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
