I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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