i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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