He is an equal opportunity slut.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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