you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
