I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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