hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize