xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
