Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
How external is "for external use only"?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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