I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize