Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
