Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
where are you?
Hypothermia
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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