Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
