sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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