Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
