i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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