Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
