I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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