Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So apparently I’m into choking now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
