Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize