Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
