her vagine was all disorganized.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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