If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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