my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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