i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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