About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
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She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
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I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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