i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
