Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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