WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
