Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
