Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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