So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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