Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
