My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
