that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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