She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
