I just pynch a tree in the face
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
