bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
