Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
