Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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