You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
