how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
