he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
