I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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