Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize